how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need to calm my uterus...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
