Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
