You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
