Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
