hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
