Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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