since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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