try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
