I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
