But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
