Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
