mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
