Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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