i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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