its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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