Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
