yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Enjoy the penises
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
