i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she smelled like a LAN party
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
