Swine flu is the new snow day.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Come on in and take your pants off
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