Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
