so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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