When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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