Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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