saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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