Already got asked if we're dating
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
