i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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