I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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