week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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