i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
