dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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