I'm pants shitting drunk right now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize