so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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