My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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