Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
