We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
