if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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