better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
