so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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