as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
