Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
