I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
