Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's blow job season.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Bring me that man meat
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
