Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She bit a glass in half.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
