C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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