May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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