Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
