I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
