I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
