Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
