I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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