just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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