She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
