Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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